When saying "yes" feels easier than disappointing someone, but each yes pulls you further from yourself.
Virtual and In-Person Therapy for People Pleasing in New York City and New York State
Deepen your relationships without losing you
If you're struggling with people pleasing, you might find yourself constantly worrying about how others perceive you and wanting to be seen as nice, easygoing, or good—even when it means sacrificing your own needs and taking on too much to keep others happy.
As a people pleaser, you might feel the pressure to hold it all together for others, even when you're overwhelmed, anxious, or exhausted. You may struggle to show your true feelings or speak up when you’re upset, worried it will push others away or that even if you speak up, your needs won’t be met and you’ll feel even worse than before.
Therapy for people-pleasing offers a space to explore these patterns, understand what’s driving them, and learn how to show up in your relationships feeling more secure in expressing your true self—not just who you think others want you to be.
People pleasing looks different for everyone, but these experiences might feel familiar:
Constantly replaying conversations in your head, wondering if you upset someone without realizing it.
Feeling anxious when someone doesn’t respond to a text right away, assuming you did something wrong.
Saying yes to plans or favors you don’t have the energy for, just to avoid disappointing others.
Feeling resentful or frustrated when no one notices you’re upset—but still struggling to speak up.
Worrying that setting boundaries will make people think you’re selfish, difficult, or too much.
Feeling like you’re the one holding everything together at work or in friendships, while your needs go unnoticed.
Avoiding conflict or confrontation, even when it means sacrificing your own comfort or values.
Feeling insecure in your relationships, questioning if people would still care about you if you showed your true colors.
Juggling everyone else’s needs while feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and unsure of how to prioritize yourself without guilt.
People-pleasing often comes from a deep desire to feel valued, accepted, and connected—but over time, it can leave you feeling more disconnected than ever.
How we approach people pleasing in therapy
As a therapist for people pleasers, I offer a compassionate, patient, and reflective space where you can explore your needs, feelings, and boundaries without fear of judgment or rejection. When you’ve spent so much of your life focused on keeping others happy, it can feel unfamiliar—even unsafe—to express your true self. But in our sessions, my goal is to foster a space where you can show up fully, without having to filter or shrink yourself to fit others' expectations, and feel supported in that process.
My style is grounded in psychodynamic and person-centered therapy, with a relational and strengths-based focus. I firmly believe the therapeutic alliance—the strength of the relationship between the client and therapist—is the cornerstone to lasting healing from people-pleasing.
Together, we’ll explore the roots of your people-pleasing patterns, often tied to childhood experiences or influential relationships that taught you to minimize your needs, assume a caretaking role, or avoid taking up space, and consider ways to challenge such patterns in your life now.
We’ll work to uncover and bring your life into alignment with what you truly value, helping you find balance, self-expression, and a sense of internal ease—even in the face of conflict, setting difficult boundaries, or challenging what others expect from you.
Ultimately, therapy isn’t about becoming someone else; it’s about feeling more like yourself in your relationships and your life. For people-pleasers in particular, it’s all about learning to own that self without fear.
Ready to Begin? Schedule a Complimentary Consultation
I offer in-person therapy for people pleasing in New York City and virtual counseling sessions across New York State. Let’s connect for a free 15-minute consultation to make sure we’re a good fit for your needs.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
— Carl Jung